Confucius Says
by best with breadsticks
Summary: One-shot Fortune cookies are made up of lies. They have small slips of paper that only tell you a lie, nothing more. Or are they really lying?


Author's Note: Here's another one-shot for fun. I was inspired when I went to a Chinese restaurant on Friday. I got a fortune that read: _You have a pair of shining eyes_, which reminded me of Chad's sparkling eyes (or eye...it all depends). And thus this was born. I have no idea when I'll be writing again...College is quite an experience. I had my first real college race on Friday. I got third out of forty-three people, and ran 15:30 on a 4K (2.6 miles) course. I was pretty excited. But beyond that, I might change my major already... yeah... Sorry for ranting. I'm done.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything _Sonny with a Chance _related or Diet Pepsi.

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Sonny twirled the noodles on her plate around her fork, unconsciously humming to herself. She was about to lift the pile of twisted noodles to her mouth, when Chad made it back to the table.

"Sonny." He said, taking her off guard, causing her to drop her fork. She glared at him as he took his seat just across from her. He laughed at her expression, flashing one of his world famous smiles.

"_Chad_," she spoke to him once she had re-lifted her fork. "You can't just go around scaring people like that. It's rude." She put the forkful of noodles into her mouth, strands of noodles hung for a second from her mouth. She smiled at him sheepishly, before using her fork to knock the noodles hanging from her mouth onto her plate.

"And _that's_," he pulled a napkin from the holder and handed it to her, "not rude."

She accepted the napkin, wiping her lips. "Bad table manners aren't rude. They're just –" Chad raised an eyebrow at her. "_Okay_, fine. They are rude, but I'm at least working on being better. You still run rapid scaring the living daylights out of people."

He leaned back in his chair, putting his hand on his chest. He faked a gasp before speaking. "Sonny, after I am willing to take you to this," he waved his hand around, "fine establishment for dinner, _you_ go and insult me." He crossed his arms and shook his head.

"Chad, we're at the Chinese restaurant about a three feet from the studio. We on _So Random!_ come here every other Friday for lunch. It's really not a _fine _establishment or anything." She turned her attention back to her meal.

"Oh, I see how it is. You're just going to ignore me now." He turned his head to the side, looking over at the table next to them. "Two can play at this."

"Chad, grow up." Sonny poked the General Tso chicken on her plate, rubbing it in the extra sauce on her plate. "We came to this "_fine establishment_" to have dinner. And since dinner means eating, I am eating."

He sighed, turning his attention back to her. "Fine."

"Fine." Sonny shoved a large piece of chicken into her mouth, chewing it really obnoxiously on purpose to annoy him.

"Good." He took a quick drink of his Diet Pepsi. He drank diet to keep his fabulous figure.

"Good." Sonny replied through the lump of mashed up chicken. Her words were mumbled and very hard to understand.

The usual question that was asked next was cut short by the waitress dropping off the bill and two fortune cookies on their table. She left with a thank you and have a nice day. Sonny smiled and waved as she walked off.

"Oh, I love fortune cookies." Sonny reached for hers with a bright and gleeful grin. "They're so much fun to read." She began to fiddle with the packaging, attempting to open it.

Chad stared at her for a moment before she noticed him. He furrowed his eyebrows as if examining the situation.

"Aren't you going to open yours?" Sonny picked up his and tossed it at him. He cringed slightly, recoiling when he was hit in the face with the cookie in the plastic wrapper. It fell to his lap with a tiny crunch.

"I'm not a fan of fortune cookies." He put his hand on his chest as he did before. "I, Chad Dylan Cooper, am fortunate enough. I don't need cookies telling me so made up stuff about how my life is going to become even more awesome."

"Oh, you're just being a party pooper." She finally managed to open the cookie. "Fortunes are so much fun to read. Yeah, they are completely made up, but it's fun to see what random phrase is written in yours." She cracked her cookie and pulled out the slip of paper.

"I still don't see the point. If it's a lie, then why do I care?" He took the cookie from his lap and tossed it on the table. "I have other things I need to care about. Like when you're going to apologize for being so very rude to me."

Sonny perked up. "You know what? I'll make a deal with you." She leaned in towards him, motioning with her finger for him to do the same. He complied. "You humor me and read your fortune cookie, and I promise to apologize."

Chad's eyebrow rose. "All you want is for me to read this stupid piece of paper in the cookie, and you'll apologize for eating so rudely?" She nodded. "Well, I don't see any part of this deal that could really go badly for me. _So_ alright, Munroe, you've got yourself a deal."

They reached out their hands and shook on it. Sonny grinned upon releasing Chad's hand. Chad noticed the smile, and suddenly felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. Perhaps there was a downside potentially for him.

"You first." Sonny used her head to gesture to the cookie on the table. "Read it out loud so I can hear it."

Chad rolled his eyes and opened the cookie. He pulled the slip of paper from the cookie and glanced over the message prior to reading it out loud. A smirk played upon his lips as he began to read.

"Confucius says you are the greatest actor of our generation. You are also incredibly good-looking, and star on a show ten thousand times better than _So Random!_. Wow, Sonny, you're right! This is fun!" He gave her a cheesy grin, putting up a thumbs up.

"Somehow I don't think Confucius actually said that." Sonny rolled her eyes.

"Why would I lie about what Confucius thinks of me? Apparently even old dead guys think I'm awesome. Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." He put on a face of pure innocence. "Now, if you would please apologize." He motioned with his hand for her to speak.

Sonny merely narrowed her eyes at him, crossing her arms.

"Oh, come on. You said I had to _read_ the piece of paper out loud, and I did…in my mind. It's not my fault you don't have physic powers." He crinkled the plastic wrapper between his two fingers.

Sonny reached over the table, grabbing a hold of his hand crinkling the wrapper. It was driving her nuts. "Stop, please."

"What?" He asked with a half-smirk. "Does this sound bother you?" He moved his fingers in a circular motion creating the sound once more.

Sonny cringed from the other side of the table. She took a deep breath and _tried_ ignore him.

She failed.

"Chad, please stop that. It's really annoying." Chad laughed at her, before setting the wrinkled wrapper down on the table.

"Now, apologize." He commanded.

"You didn't read your fortune. You just made some stuff up. That doesn't count." She pointed out.

"You first." He pointed his finger at her.

"What? No. You reading yours first was the deal. Not me reading mine first." Sonny cut another piece of her chicken with her fork.

He shifted in his chair. "Just read it, and I promise that I'll read my _actual _fortune. No lies this time. Sound like a deal?" He outstretched his arm over the table for another shake to seal this deal as well.

Sonny looked at his hand, before sighing and grasping it. "Fine…" She grabbed the slip of paper from next to her plate and flipped it over. Upon reading the message she wished she could go back and reverse the moment.

"Ummm…maybe…" Sonny glanced up at Chad, who smirked impishly. She made a face before reading it. "Now keep in mind this is completely and totally made up…but mine says: _One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes_." She laughed in an unsure manner.

"Yeah," Chad chuckled in an awkward way, "that's totally a lie. My fortune isn't anywhere near as lame as that…" He glanced about the room around them. Couples, families, friends, and everything in between chatted up the night's events, all ignoring the two young stars.

"Yeah…" Sonny agreed, biting her lip. "Well, I guess it's your turn. And then I'll apologize…" The silence between them was becoming increasing uncomfortable. She changed her position in her chair.

Chad stood up from his chair, grabbing the bill. "That's alright. I think I can live without your apology. It's time for me to be heading out of here. I've got to hit up the studio before going home." He turned and began to walk towards the counter to pay.

"Wait!" Sonny leaped from her chair, remembering to take her jacket. She bolted in his direction. She wasn't going to let him get off _this_ easy. He _had_ to read her his fortune. That was the deal.

He continued paying and proceeded out the door. Sonny was trailing behind him, waving her arms trying to get his attention. He either didn't notice her or just didn't care to look. She followed after him anyway.

Sonny noticed a small piece of white paper fall from his pocket as he walked back to the studio; she rushed over and lifted it from the ground. Upon further investigation, she realized it was his fortune. She read it silently to herself.

_One who admires you greatly is hidden before your eyes._

Sonny smiled. Fate was a funny thing.

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Author's Note: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed (at least a little). :D


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